Life is hard. Period. It just is.
My life is hard right now. I have so many things going on that were not part of my master plan. Things that change everything. Things that are permanent.
We prayed, we waited, we prayed, we waited, we prayed, we waited some more. We prayed and waited for something that didn't happen. God said "No". I don't understand it. I don't agree with it. I want to question God. I want to be mad. I *am* mad. We waited 6 months on an answer. SIX MONTHS of putting our lives on hold. Six months of having nothing. All for nothing. That is how it feels.
But that is my flesh speaking. Those are feelings that come and go. I know better. I know the truth. I know that God did indeed say no but that is because He knows something better is out there for us. He knows that what we thought was good for us might just not be. The truth is always there, never changing, always reliable.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I keep telling myself this truth. I know He knows what is best for me and my family. We prayed that if what we wanted wasn't the best for us, close that door. Permanently. And God listened to that. He did say "yes' to that one. Is that what we wanted? No. Heck No. We prayed that because it felt right. It felt unselfish. But it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted the door open.
Here is where Faith comes in. Do I turn my back now that God said No? Do I now start to distrust God because He didn't give me what I wanted? Do get mad and never speak to Him again? Do I bury myself is pity?
No, No, No, NO!!
I trust in Him. I trust that He is doing what is right. Faith isn't something that you feel or do or say only when everything goes your way. Faith is best displayed when life is hard, when everything is not going your way, when you want to give up but don't. Faith is trusting in ALL situations, good and bad.
I feel like six months were wasted but I what I know is six months were spent building my faith. Six months were spent learning how to BE a family. Six months were spent learning each other and our children. Six months were spent like never before and probably never again.
God may have said no to one thing, but He is saying YES on so much more!
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18
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Life is hard! I'm sorry that God said no, but he knows best! I know that right now it's hard to understand that & you want to know why, but some day you will look back & realize that God knew what he was doing! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteah, love...
ReplyDeletekeep your faith strong! it's so easy to give up, as you said, when things don't go the way we wish they would, but the true benefit of faith comes when we don't give it up when we aren't given what we want. it's at that point, when we struggle to continue to believe, that we really begin to learn to TRUST our faith. that's what faith is all about... you don't see it with your eyes, but you feel it with your heart, even when things are crappy.
i know something good is coming your way. =) not just one thing, but a multitude of good things. <3
continue to believe what you believe, and trust in your faith. things will work out as they're meant to... and in the meantime, keep writing it all down and writing it out. the (electronic) pen and paper are the sweetest release.
love you!! <3