Monday, January 31, 2011

Losing it

Please pray for my sanity. I'm going crazy. Literally crazy.

I have been dealing with some sort of sickness for going on a week now. This is about the time that I start going bonkers. I can't handle being down and out for more than 7 days. It started with Julian last weekend and then went to Tristan and now I'm sick. Tristan is too. IT SUCKS!!

I feel horrible and hope that I'm on the upside of this thing. I slept Saturday night thru Monday morning and it seems to have helped. Some. Not completely. How crazy is that?

So please blog readers, pray for my sanity and healing. Pray for my babies health. I would greatly appreciate all prayers I can get.

Love you guys.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I thank God every time my kids sleep through the night. I really do. I have great sleepers. Tristan was six weeks old sleeping through the night. We were blessed beyond blessed with an easy, wonderful baby. Aiden, on the other hand, was not a good sleeper until he was one. Now he is a great sleeper. He falls asleep and you don't have to worry about him at all.

Tristan has gone through a few phases where he wakes up at all hours of the night for various reasons. Sometimes he has to go potty, sometimes he already went potty and needs me to clean up the mess, sometimes he just wants his Mommy, sometimes he wants water (only a sip to please him but no more than that or else there's a greater chance of accidents), sometimes he had bad dreams. But usually he is good and stays in bed. He's always been that way, good I mean. He is the one who I can depend on. If I say "No, don't touch that", he won't touch it. Aiden will touch it to see my reaction. Bless his little rebellious heart. He is EXACTLY like his Daddy. EXACTLY.

I'm digressing. What I'm trying to say is that I am so very thankful for wonderful children who are patient with me right now as I'm sick. They did great last night. Daddy didn't home until after 9 o'clock so I had to do everything with bedtime. I was not feeling good at all and they knew it. They behaved so well. They did Horrible in the afternoon time, refer to previous post, but made up for it at bedtime. And this morning they let Mommy sleep a bit later also. I put on Curious George, Cat in the Hat, and Super Why. During all three shows they sat like little statues and let me rest on the couch. I love them so much.

I am thankful for my two very different, loving, gentle, rough, smart, rebellious children. They are everything all in one....or two I should say.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Rough Day

Today sucks. I'm sick and the boys are acting crazy. I think it's a combination of me not having patience and them being extra sensitive today. Not a good combo. Tristan didn't go to school today (his tummy was acting up this morning) and I had to go to work.

Tristan apparently watched a t.v. show today that had some kid saying "oh no, my feet are shrinking" but realized, at the end of the show, that his feet are not shrinking but he is growing. So now Tristan is freaked out that his feet are shrinking. He said this on the entire 45 minute drive home (I had to take my Mom to Conroe after work to pick up her car) with tears streaming down his face. He really did think his feet were shrinking. "My piggies have owies Mommy. Bad ones. I need a band-aid" Oh dear. My little drama king. He really is folks. He is sooooooooooo sensitive. I love him but today he is just annoying me. As I type this I realize how funny it sounds. I just wish I realized the humor earlier.

Aiden is fine. He is just being himself but today I can't take it. He does this thing in the car where he cries/whines/screams until I look at him. Then he just stops and is perfectly fine. Or he keeps asking for milk even though he knows milk isn't allowed in the car. I don't play that game anymore. Now I just ignore him and eventually he stops. Today I couldn't take it. He started his thing, as usual, and I was so mad that I turned up the radio really loud (this is probably the 6th time he randomly bursted out cries/screams) and yelled "I don't hear you anymore!!" He did eventually stop (as usual). I was just fed up with all the crying from shrinking feet and heck if I know why Aiden cries.

We got home and I put the boys in their own rooms and had them play for about an hour all by themselves (meaning alone without each other). I needed that hour. It was a good hour. I ordered pizza for dinner because there wasn't any chance I was cooking. When the pizza arrived we had dinner and then cuddled on the couch together to watch Monsters, Inc.. It was nice snuggling with them because of the rough afternoon we had. I told them that I loved them both very much and that Mommy was having a rough day. They each gave me hugs and kisses to make all better. I love them.

So now I sit here on my couch stuffed from pizza and cinnapie with the house silent. Both boys are in bed and I am going to watch me some CSI NY and catch up on any other shows I missed.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Changes are a good thing

I mentioned before in one of my posts that Julian and I didn't have the best year in 2010. We had some really, really good times but the bad ones were, well, bad.

We are making changes to our relationship that seem to be working out very nicely. I won't go into detail of them, for his sake because he is kind of a private guy, but it's just normal, plain, simple things you would think of. Nothing big or radical but just simple changes. It's doing wonders already and it's only been a few weeks!!

I love that man. He is so good to me.

Speaking of changes, my boys are growing up so fast. Aiden is now talking. He says so many things it's ridiculous. Most words other people can't understand but I can. It's so nice to have him finally talk. He is all over the house learning new things. He watches our every move and tries to do it himself when we aren't looking. He loves to help me around the house. Little chores bring a big smile to his face, such as throwing his own diaper away or putting clothes in the dryer for me. His hair is getting long and I love it. It's so fine and soft.

Tristan is one smart cookie. He hears EVERYTHING that is said and then stores it in his brain and will bring it back to life at odd moments in time. It's awesome. He is so sensitive and really, really LOVES his family. He always wants to cuddle and be around Julian or me. He also wants to hug his brother often. It really is the cutest thing. He is doing fantastic at school. All those "problems" I was so worried about worked themselves out. He is a wonderful student and truly enjoys going to school. I'm glad I stopped worrying about it and just let God handle it for me. It worked out for the best.

I have a beautiful feeling that 2011 is going to be FANTASTIC. Julian and I are already planning mini-vacas for our family as well as our five year wedding anniversary celebration (it isn't until Oct but we are planning something BIG). Oh so excited!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Diggin' 2011

So today is only a week into 2011 and I am LOVING it. Julian and I seem to be on this Love High and I never want to come down. My Tristan is growing up so much and loves helping Momma. He is the best ever. Aiden is FINALLY learning words. He is talking a lot more and each day is something new. He is getting better with his fits but when they come, they are still doozies. But at least they aren't as frequent as before.

Changes are all around me. I am going back to working three days a week now. I have someone coming to watch my boys when I'm at work one of those days. I am waiting to see if Aiden can get into the MDO program Tristan is in. If he is accepted (they might have an opening in a week) then both boys will be in MDO and my Mom won't have to watch them anymore. They are getting a bit much for her these days. Plus, she has minor surgery coming up soon and I don't want her stressing about the boys. So this is something new and different. I've never had someone watch Tristan or Aiden on a weekly basis other than my Mom. I trust who is watching them though. She is a friend of mine and I have known her for a few years now. Her little girl is so smart and adorable. Thank you Grace.

These last seven days have been awesome. I love the year so far and hope it just keeps getting better or maintaining this greatness.

The fall will come because it always does. For every high there is a low, I know I know. But I feel like I can conquer anything. I can handle the fall and be a better person afterwards. Learn from them. For awhile, I felt like I was falling with the falls. I couldn't get back up. I was drowning in a sea of ... something. I don't know what but it was something. But now, now I feel good. Now I feel prepared.

2011, thanks for the good week. God, thanks for everything.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Good-bye 2010 and Hello 2011

Today is the first day of the new year. I certainly hope that 2011 brings love, joy and peace to my heart and family. 2010 was a rough year for me.

It's safe for me to say that 2010 was the worst year of my life to date. It sucked pretty bad. I've reflected on the year and am sad to report that the bad outweighs the good. I had some really good times, don't get me wrong. It's just the bad was REALLY bad. I hope, pray and wish that this new year brings all kinds of new journeys.

Here is my short version of the recap in my head:

The Good
~ Aiden turned one and we had a blast celebrating with just our family of four
~ Tristan turned three and we had the most fun ever celebrating at Wolf Creek Lodge
~ We got iPhones (which is life changing folks)
~ We got a new car, Percy
~ Julian and I had a fantastic four year wedding anniversary
~ Julian started a garden that I hope to help him with this year
~ I acquired lots and lots of cookbooks, cookware, and did lots of cooking
~ I have happy, healthy sons
~ My parents and I became much closer this year
~ We began new traditions this year (Wurstfest, Birthdays of just the four of us, Wolf Creek Lodge)
~ I turned 30
~ We had our first Christmas in Albuquerque
~ We visited my Brother-In-Laws family and had a GREAT time
~ Julian and I went to more concerts this year than last year (David Grey, Aaron Lewis, Flogging Molly)

The Bad
~ My family fell apart...royally (Dad, Mom, and Me against My Brother)
~ My B.I.L. was deployed
~ My other family fell apart some
~ Julian and I didn't have the best year as husband and wife

There are only four bad things about 2010 but they were doozies. They were all consuming and wreaked havoc on me. I hope to overcome the issues and NOT let it bring me down. I pray that it doesn't come between me and husband ever again. I also pray that we grow together in Christ and lean on each other during the rough times. Marriages aren't easy and the tough times are when your true love should shine through.