Funky Funk

Have you ever been in a funk and you really don't know why? There isn't anything to really put you in one but you find yourself just being not yourself.

That has been me for the past few weeks. I don't know what caused it but I just found myself not thinking like I normally do. I was very down on myself and others. I was thinking negatively. It just wasn't pretty. It wasn't ugly because I didn't treat anyone else different than normal either. I was just sort of in my own hole. I have slowly gotten out of it and am very grateful that I have.

Julian and I have met new people on our side of town which has been such a great blessing. And the people seem to be super awesome. They are in the same boat of life as we are. They have children that are very close in age as our children. We are spiritually connected in a way that I haven't really felt before. It's as if we walk the same walk and are walking the same pace but yet different enough to where we can learn from each other and challenge each other in an uplifting way. No one is left out, everyone brings something to the table, and we all respect each other. I have been a part of groups before but this one feels different somehow. I can't quite explain it. I am not saying this in a way that takes away anything from other people I have been blessed to know, I am just happy to express what is going on in our lives presently.

Julian has a new job. That is AWESOME news considering he hated his job and it was really wearing on him. This is an opportunity for us. A big, big opportunity for us. It could be a wonderful change or it could be a hot mess. I am praying it works out for us. It could bring happy, happy outcomes for us if it does. If it doesn't then we will just deal with that when it happens. A side note, we now work together. He works where I work. Yay.

These are some happy changes that have taken place over the last month. Julian starts his new job Monday and I am happy for Tuesday when I get to go to work and see him there.

About that funk though, it seems to be going away. Again, I am not sure what caused it or why it stuck around but slowly it is going away. I just wasn't feeling like the normal Jenny. I am now starting to think happier things, feel happy feelings, say happy sayings, and just plain be happy.

I was just wondering if anyone else ever felt that way. Like out of the norm but you just can't put your finger on it and then you start to feel bad because you know you shouldn't feel that way but you still do and then everything else falls apart because you just can't seem to get your act together. All that rolled into one and plenty more that I am just not saying because I already feel I have said too much and don't want you thinking I am a looney case. I am a looney case but I just don't want you to think that I am. Do you? If you didn't, you might now.

Happy Reading Folks.

We didn't even last TWO DAYS!!!

So we didn't even last two days with those crappy pay-as-you-go phones. Not two days. Ha. I was so sad when I had an eye appointment and couldn't call Julian to let him know how I was doing. I was sad when we went to the Children's Museum and I couldn't call Julian to let him know I had his ticket to let him in. I realized how sad I was when I didn't have Tristan's laugh anymore on my phone.

All that combined, plus the fact that with two little ones I need to be able to call my hubby IF I needed.....or wanted, is what led us to say "forget it" with the plan of basic phones.

So I am glad we tried.

We failed.

We moved on and bought new phones.

End of story.

How's this for takin' a step back?

Times are tough. Not just for me and my household but for everyone some way or another. Julian and I made a huge change to help save money. We got rid of our blackberry's and switched over to a pay as you go phone that has unlimited texts. How is that for a big change of life style? That is a HUGE step for us. I felt robbed of something special to me. I was sad. I felt empty. I felt very disappointed.



BUT I did learn a few things in the midst of this. First, I have become entirely too dependant on my phone. It is my "blankie" if you will. I felt complete with my phone. I would check it in the car while driving (I know, I know), it would be within reach during dinner at a restaurant, I had to make sure it was always where I could grab it easily. Second, I was teaching my children that phones are more important than what you are doing in the moment. If my phone went off or an email came through I had to look at it. I don't want my kids feeling that phones are important. Life is important. Living is important. Family is important. Third, I don't want to teach my kids that driving and texting is okay because it ISN'T!!! But that is what I was showing them. I would call Julian as soon as I went somewhere to let him know I was leaving or arriving and if the kids were in the car they obviously saw that. I really don't want them thinking that is okay and the norm. Fourth, it is expensive to have all those gadgets and accessories. I would rather my money go to something else.

This is a very honest post. This is what we are doing as a family and couple to improve our lives. It works for us (at least we are going to find out if it does) and that's what matters.

This is probably going to be a rough transition at first not being able to call someone whenever I want but at least I can text all day long if I want. But I also have a feeling that the first time we don't have to pay an outrageous phone bill we are going to be very happy people.