My Second Birthday Cake

Not only am I getting older, I'm also getting wider 

A Day Early

My boys surprised me a day early.  Let the festivities begin!!

Curried Chicken Noodle Soup

This is what was for dinner.  It was fabulous.  It was easy.

It was nothing more than butter, olive oil, chicken, s & p, curry powder (the secret ingredient), onion, carrots, chicken stock, and some noodles.

We will be making this again.  Soon.

Honey was the one who put all this together; he is amazing.  I love you Honey.
julianandjenny.wordpress.com

FaceTime

My boys are FaceTiming in this picture.  It is amazing how far we have come in the technology world.  Tristan and Aiden wanted to FaceTime their cousins tonight.  It was pretty awesome to watch how different our generations are.  Back in the day you had to sit, or stand, by the phone because the cord only went so far.  This evening I watched as my children "talked" on the phone.  They don't even know how to use a real phone.  They only know how to video chat.  Craziness!!  Side note: it is hilarious to watch little kids get seriously crazy when they see themselves in a little box on the phone

I love that with all these new inventions, it just means we have even more ways of staying in touch with loved ones.  My children video chat with their Grandma at least twice a week.  Grandma, who lives in another state, gets to watch her grandchildren grow up.  She gets to see their eyes light up when she calls them.

I love it.  I love iPhone.  I love iMac.  I love iPad.  I love all these new gidgets and gadgets.

yes, we are an Apple lovin' family!!

Aiden = Stubborn

This is my beautiful second-born; his name is Aiden.  He has a strong personality.  He is stubborn.  Repeat, he is stubborn.

Gosh I love my Aiden.  He makes me laugh with his stubbornness.  He also makes me want to pull my hair out with his stubbornness.

Example:

For lunch today, I made my two boys Cheesy Pasta.  What child doesn't like that?  Aiden likes it.  He, however, does NOT like to be "helped".  He does NOT like being told that Cheesy Pasta is what's for lunch.  He gets on these kicks where he wants to make all the decisions, including what he will eat for meals.  (by the way, Cheesy Pasta is not Mac n Cheese; I make mine totally different, and by different, I mean way better)

Well, I am not the type of Momma that makes separate meals for the child who decides to be super picky. You will eat what is prepared or not eat at all, period.  Here is something else about Aiden that makes him, well, him.  He keeps food in his mouth for long periods of time.  I mean, like, 10 minutes up to 30 minutes for one bite.  He does that so he doesn't have to eat it.  It is disgusting.  Disgusting.  He proceded to do that at lunch, so I asked him if he was done.  He nodded yes after only having one bite that stayed in his mouth for ten minutes.  I had him spit out the food and then it was nap time.  In my house, if you choose not to eat your meal, you go to your room while the rest of us eat.  You do not get to sit at the table and distract your brother, I mean the others.  Plus, it was nap time anyway.

He was hungry when he woke up.  Shocking, I know.  I told him he could have lunch, which was Cheesy Pasta.  He didn't want that.  I let him decide between Cheesy Pasta and nothing.  He chose nothing.  Dinner time rolls around and my first-born wanted Cheesy Pasta again.  I said okay, I had some leftover.  Less cooking and cleaning dishes for me, so that is awesome.  Aiden sits down at the table and I put his bowl of Cheesy Pasta in front of him.  He looks at me with disbelief but says nothing.  Next thing I know, he takes a bite and then whines about it.  I hear whining like a little cute puppy dog whines.  I tell him he can choose between Cheesy Pasta or going to his room with NO dinner, NO milk, NO dessert, NO anything.  He chooses nothing, again.  Sheesh.  This kid is stubborn.

I love my Aiden.  I love how he is a happy boy, most times.  I love everything about him.  He made me chuckle and want to pull my hair out tonight.  I feel bad because he going to bed without having anything for lunch or dinner, but these are the choices he made.  I did tell him that Cheesy Pasta is what is for breakfast though.  Hahahaha.

I wonder where he gets his stubbornness from?  {insert evil laugh here}

Merry Christmas Eve

I wish everyone a Merry, Happy, Jolly Christmas!!

I woke up this morning feeling very blessed to be able to spend this day and tomorrow with my family.  With the upcoming changes in my life, this is very likely the last Christmas Eve and Christmas Day that I get to wake up in my own home, in my own bed, on these two mornings, while living in the same city as my family here in Houston.  Of course this will not be my last Christmas here in Houston, but it will never be the same.

Changes are good.  Changes are needed.  Changes are embraced from me.  I look forward to growing with my Husband and kids.  I look forward to all our adventures that are sure to come.  My eagerness for the future reminds me of all that I am blessed to have right here, right now.  Today is special.  Tomorrow is special.  Next Friday is special (my birthday).  These are the last times that these days will be spent like "normal".  Next year will be different.  Every year after that will be different.

I have two choices:  be scared and let that rule me OR be joyful for what's to come.  I choose JOY!!

These days remind me of what is truly important.  Family is important.  Love is important.  Giving proper thanks to the One who gave me all that I have is important.  Location is not important.  Presents are not important.  Clothes and food are not important.  Okay wait, food IS important but not at the top of the list.

What I am trying to say is, I am thankful for my family, my Love, my boys, my life.  I am thankful I serve a God who loves me unconditionally.  I am blessed beyond belief.  Enjoy your families.  Enjoy the laughter, smiles, love, hugs, kisses, and TIME you have with each other.

I'm Gonna Start Going Crazy

from all the sickness going around.

I am SOOOOOO over my family being sick!!

Sick and Tired

This morning I woke up to see my beautiful sons playing together beautifully.  It truly was wonderful.  They were pretending that they were in Paris and having croissants at a bakery near the Eiffel Tower.  Precious.  I then noticed that my beautiful younger son had some nice, bright green snot coming out of his tiny, beautiful nose.  EWWWWW!!  Not so beautiful or wonderful.

I am taking precaution and not going to church just in case it is the start of a cold or infection.  Bright green snot = sick somewhere in that beautiful little body of his

Plus, I am dog tired.  I didn't sleep well at all last night.  AT ALL!  The cat was acting crazy, the hubby got home super late, Aiden had bad dreams (or something that made him cry), and it was HOT.  I do not, repeat DO NOT, sleep well when it is hot.

So this morning we are sick and tired.

Cold and Food but not cold food

There is something about cold weather that I just love, love, love!!  The layering of clothes, the fun colored scarves, the jeans, the boots, the gloves, the jackets.  Oh how I love these things.

I also love the way it makes me want to cook food.  But not just any food, no sir.  I want to make warm, toasty, feels-good-for-your-soul type of food.  Soups, cookies, cakes, lasagnas...on and on and on I can go.  I am not biased.  I like ANY food that makes my tummy feel good.  I do, however, prefer warm food in cold weather.  I want stoups (Rachael Ray's version of something between a soup and stew) and nice hearty meals.  And sweet stuff.  Cold weather makes me want sweet stuff like no other season does!

I made Chocolate Ravioli's for my boys today (and myself).  Delicious, just delicious.  Hazelnut chocolate in a little fried package of dough...oh my.  It had crunch, it had sweetness, it had a dash of saltiness.  Perfection I tell ya.  Tonight I plan on making some country fried chicken with gravy and mashed potatoes.  Yum-meeeee

Did I mention how much I love cold weather?!

By the way, all this cooking is not good for my weight loss journey....but I don't mind

Day 22-24

So I missed the last few days...oops

I am going to say the last thing that I am thankful for and I'll call it even!!  Ha.

I am thankful for the love that God has for me, personally, that He gave His only son to die for ME on the cross.

That is all encompassing!  His love for me permeates my life.  All of my life.  If it weren't for God, I would have nothing.  That is the ultimate act of love and kindness that I am thankful for.

EVERYTHING else that I am thankful for comes from Him.

Day 21

I am thankful for grateful, caring attitudes.  I work with people who aren't always in a good mood, to say the least, and it is hard to keep my head up sometimes.  I very, very thankful for people who are caring, kind, thoughtful, and grateful for the blessings that are given to them.

And for happy attitudes as well.  Happiness and Joy are great things to have and be.

Day 20

I am thankful that I have the luxury right now to go and have dinner with my Honey while he is on his lunch break.  He works close to home and that is a huge blessing.

Day 17, 18, & 19

This week has been a rough one.  I haven't had time, or energy, to keep up!

Day 17:  I am thankful for good movies.  It allows for time spent doing Day 18.

Day 18:  Cuddle time with my boys.  I wouldn't trade those moments for the world!

Day 19:  Books.  Oh how I love books.  The world is a better place because of them.

Day 15 & 16

Day 15:  I am thankful for having the support at home to stand up for myself at work.

Day 16:  Thankful (yet still hate it) for Facebook.  It shows me how the people I thought I knew are, indeed, not the way I thought they were.  It shows true colors.  It shows character.  It shows a lot.  I am thankful for that, even though the truth does hurt sometimes.

Day 13 & 14

I'm not very good at this, am I?  I don't get on here everyday but I am trying to keep up as best I can.

Day 13:  I am thankful for my church.  It is far from where I live and it is always a challenge to get there on time.  The kids are starting to realize that driving for over 30 minutes, no matter where we go, is not very fun.  BUT my church is worth the hassle.  Woodlands Point Community Church is such a great place to hear Gods word.  GODS word, not some preacher throwing their own opinion in the mix and claiming it's what God says.  I love the pastors and how they stick to what the Bible says.  They teach what Jesus taught us.  I am thankful for the NOT watered-down services.

Day 14:  I am thankful for the few people I can call true friends.  I don't have many, by choice, but they sure are special.  I don't talk to them as often as I should or see them as often as I should, but they love me nonetheless.  I am very, very thankful for them.

Happiness

My house smells divine right now.  I have some Holiday Potpourri simmering on my stove, creating a scent that makes my nose very happy.  Cinnamon, cloves, and even a hint of nutmeg are swimming with some oranges and cranberries in a sea of warm water.

This morning I made my boys some Chocolate Pancakes, which they loved.  I am going to make them some Salty Kisses in just a bit.  And for dinner, they will be having homemade pizza to their liking.  LOTS of cheese will be involved, as well as some olives.  It's a great day for bringing smiles to my sons' faces through chocolate and cheese!!  In case you are wondering, a Salty Kiss is a hershey kiss (the Hug kind, with white chocolate and milk chocolate) in between two pretzels.

I'm also really excited because I am going to have a date with my Honey tonight at home.  I plan on making Corn & Cheese Chowder and Crab Rangoon.  Two very different types of food for one meal but we won't mind.  We are adventurous like that.

I've never made either dish so this is super, super exciting for me.  I love, Love, LOVE trying out new recipes.  And I know Honey loves, Loves, LOVES eating my new creations, so we will both be happy tonight!

Day 12

I am thankful for kind neighbors.

I have some really nice neighbors.  They help us out all the time.  I have borrowed eggs and flour more times than I can remember.  I have taken care of their animals and they have taken care of mine multiple times.  They let my family borrow their pool almost anytime we want.  They really are great neighbors.

11-11-11

Day 11:  I am thankful for smiles.  All smiles.  A smile can brighten someone's day.  A smile can make my day depending on who's face it is on.  A smile can make me feel better.  I love smiles.

Day 7, 8, 9, & 10

I am super behind. Sorry about that!

Day 7: I am thankful for my Petrie. She is my rat terrier dog and I love her to pieces. She cuddles me ALL THE TIME and it keeps me feeling loved. She is always by my side. I really do love that girl.

Day 8: I am thankful for my passion of cooking. I used to have no interest whatsoever in cooking and now I absolutely love it. It brings peace into my world. It brings good food into my world. Sometimes, it brings GREAT food into my world. I love that I love to cook.

Day 9: I am thankful for my Prius. She has saved me lots of money, in gas, in the one year I have had her. She has made me drive slower and that has bled into my life in other areas as well. I have slowed down my way of life, in general, to enjoy what God has given me. Today's society moves too fast and misses everything. Oddly enough, my Prius (her name is Percy, btw) has helped me to slow down and I am thankful for that.

Day 10: I am extremely thankful for cooler weather. I love bundling up in layers, scarves, and jackets. Living in Houston means that this happens rarely. Lately we have been getting some beautiful cold weather. Thank you God for sending that my way!!

wow, i've come a long way

from not knowing how to cook hardly anything at all.

I am having another proud cooking moment.  This one is just as embarrassing as not knowing how to cook gravy but I will write about it nonetheless.  It's embarrassing because it is such an easy recipe/meal.  It really, really is.  Also, no offense to anyone to who doesn't know to cook gravy.  I didn't for 30 years.

Anyhoo, today we went to church and, in the past, we would go to a restaurant afterwards.  Those days aren't as frequent because we don't have the money.  So today, as we were driving home, I was thinking about what to cook for lunch.  We had no leftovers in the fridge and nothing that stood out in the pantry.  I don't believe in microwave meals, so that wasn't an option.  I didn't want to pick up anything, as that defeats the purpose of saving money (we might as well have gone to a restaurant and sat down to eat if that's the case).

So we got home and I immediately went to the pantry to see what I could cook up.  I saw that I had Spinach Fettucine.  I had garlic and I had olive oil.  BINGO! So I whipped up some garlic olive oil and cooked the fettucine.  Side note:  I added anchovy paste to my garlic olive oil, it was fabulous.  I topped everyone's bowl off with some freshly grated parmesan cheese and served it.

Let me tell you, my kids gobbled it up.  Tristan even asked for seconds.  I couldn't believe it.  I thought for sure they wouldn't eat it because 1. it wasn't breaded and 2. it was green.  But they did!!  Oh boy, they sure did.

I am so very, very proud of myself because, truly, two years ago I would have freaked out about not having anything to eat and we would have stopped somewhere to pick up food or gone to a restaurant.  I saved us at least $25 today by not going out to eat and it really was tastier than any restaurant food I've had in a long time.  I have come a long, long way from when I first got married and barely knew how to cook eggs (I'm being dramatic, I knew how to cook eggs) to being able to come home, look in the pantry, find ingredients, and create a meal.

Yay me!

Here's the recipe in case you'd like to try it out yourself:  I don't put measurements because it was all eye-balled

Bag of Spinach Fettucine (you could really use any pasta you want, I had this on hand and it's healthy to boot)
Olive Oil
Garlic, minced (I used about 4 or 5 cloves for a strong garlic flavor, Honey LOVES him some garlic)
Anchovy Paste (if you have it, if not then that is just fine)
Butter
Parmesan Cheese

Start cooking your pasta according to the directions.

While pasta is cooking, heat up your anchovy paste with a bit of olive oil (not too much at this point because we are just trying to "melt" the paste) in a skillet over medium heat.  Stir it together to help them become one.  It will dissolve into the olive oil.  *When it looks like one liquid, add more olive oil and your garlic.  Turn down the heat to low.  Let them marry together.  I added a smidgen of butter in the mix for a little pocket of extra flavor.

When pasta is done, drain it and return it to hot pot.  Add some butter and stir.  **Add your olive oil mixture to pasta.  Stir together.  Spoon into serving dish and top with parmesan cheese.

*If you do not have anchovy paste, then just heat up your olive oil and garlic together over low heat
**It is up to you but I strained my olive oil mixture before adding it to my pasta.  I don't like bits of garlic in my oil.  I took a little hand-held strainer and poured my olive oil right through that directly on top of my pasta

Happy Eating Everyone

Day 5 & 6

Yesterday just seemed to slip by me.  I was baking and cooking almost all day and then my Honey had to work so it was just me and the boys.

Day 5:  I am thankful that my Honey and I have trusted in God to provide for us.  He has not let us down AT ALL.  It is amazing what God can do if we let Him.  Even with Honey not having a full-time, good-paying job, we have managed to pay a substantial amount of money towards our credit card debt and make all payments on all bills with never being late on any payments.  THAT, my readers, is all the work of my Lord and Saviour.  There is no way we could have done that all on our own understanding or choices.  We let God speak to our hearts and we trusted in Him to provide for us; He has and will continue to.

Day 6:  I am thankful for my kitty, Sable.  He is a wonderful cat that isn't like a normal cat.  He loves to cuddle with me and purr in my ear.  That is one of my favorite sounds.  He is always with me or Honey.  He does not like to be alone.  He loves to play with our dogs and kids.  He just a wonderful addition to our family and I am thankful for him.

My Mina

Mina, I just wanted to put my disclaimer on here.  I don't mind if *you* put your Thanksgiving Challenge on FB.  For some reason I really enjoy reading things that you are thankful for.  I suppose it is because you don't do posts about being thankful ONLY on holidays.  Your posts are sprinkled with thanksgivings all throughout the year.

I love that about you.  I just wanted you to know that.  I love you girl.

Day 4

I am thankful for my job.  It is overwhelming at times and has gotten a bit crazy this year with certain situations but, all in all, I am thankful.  I love how I beat the traffic going in (most days) and beat the traffic coming home.  I like the flexibility is allows me.  Those are things I am very thankful for.

Thanksgiving Challenge

I am three days late starting this but better late then never.  I will try my hardest to post something I am thankful for every day until Thanksgiving.

Side Note:  I don't like the challenge on FB for everyone to see.  I am beginning to really not like FB all that much.  I'm not sure why I don't like it on there but I don't.

I am thankful for my adoring, kind, handsome, wonderful, very loving Husband.  I wouldn't be where I'm at today if it weren't for him.

I am thankful for my shy, super smart, loving, handsome first born child, Tristan.  He is so very special to me and because of him my whole world changed in every single way possible.  I love him.

I am thankful for my outgoing, loving, handsome, adventurous, loud second born child, Aiden.  He is also very special to me and has added so much love, and did I mention adventure, to my life.  He was my cuddle buddy for the first year of his life.  He wanted no one but Mommy.  I will always be thankful for the sunshine he brings to my life.  I love him.

Honey

My Honey,

This one is for you!

I love you. I really, really do. You have brought such joy to my life. You have given me two beautiful sons that brighten my world even more. They are a perfect blend of me and you. We have a "home" that will always be ours. Our house may change, the lawn will come and go, gardens will turn with the seasons but our HOME will always stay the same. Thank you for creating a perfect life with me and for me.

When we met, I was a ball of stress and way to serious about life. You have brought me out of that shell and into the sunshine that God has given me. I couldn't have done that without you. It's a cheesy line but it is so very true, you really are my better half. You actually do bring out the best in me. You have let me realize what's really important in life on my own but supported me, encouraged me, and directed me the whole way. I cannot imagine my life without you in it.

I never take for granted being able to kiss you every day. I cherish every hug you have ever given me. I love every moment I have with you, even if we are not seeing eye to eye. When those moments come, the fights, bickering and arguments, I look forward to when we make up and learn from our experiences to make our life even better.

You have the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Your laugh is contagious. It makes my heart smile every time I hear it. I could look into your eyes for eternity and never get bored. I love when you blink and your long, long eyelashes sway. Yes, they are that long and Aiden is here to prove it. Your nose, oh how I love your nose. I always have. Remember when you wanted to cut it off and I would say "no way, I love your nose" without fail, every time? I still do love your nose.

Thank you for extending my family. I have more cousins than ever and so many wonderful, loving aunts and uncles. Or should I say Aunties? Ha. I have another brother with a beautiful wife. I finally have nephews and two wonderful ones at that. I now have three nieces instead of two. And I have the best Mother-in-Law I could ever have dreamed for. She loves me tremendously and we have a fantastic relationship. Thank you for sharing her with me.

I also want to say thank you for this adventure we are about to embark on. I don't know what is going to happen along the way but as long as you are with me, by my side, I'm ready for it. I don't know where it is going to take us but as long as you are with me, I don't care where. You are my home. You are my rock. You are my everything. God gave me you and He must *really* love me to give me something so special.

I love you Honey.

Life These Days

Not too much has been going on with me and my family. Here's some things, in list form because that's how I see life:

1. LOTS of waiting on a phone call to hear about the AF

2. Lots of praying for direction

3. Honey got a job at Target to get himself out of the house a bit and to help make ends meet

4. I now work four days a week instead of two

5. Waiting

6. Aiden was sick with tummy bug and that was no fun

7. Aiden shared his tummy bug with me and that was no fun either

8. Tristan has his first skating rink birthday party and I'm super excited for him

9. Waiting

10. Tristan has been getting *LOTS* of compliments from his teachers at school

11. My sons will both be Batman for Halloween and they are thrilled about it

12. I learned to cook some new meals

13. My relationship with my brother is improving greatly

14. I want to jump for joy about the previous entry

15. My niece was baptized October 19 and I am so very, very proud of her

16. More waiting

17. I've lost over 20 pounds

18. Went to Albuquerque for week and had the best time

19. Got to hike up a mountain, go on a nature walk with my boys, and experience the balloon fiesta

20. Oh yeah, more waiting

Chicken Fried Steak with Homemade Gravy

This was the meal that scared me. I'm not sure why but it did. I never knew how to do chicken fried steak. I never knew how to do homemade gravy. Everyone told me that gravy was THE easiest thing to make. Even if you didn't know to boil water, you could make gravy. Well, I didn't know how to make gravy. I can make lots of other things but not that.

Tonight was a victory. I made gravy. YUMMY yummy YUMMY gravy with my YUMMY yummy YUMMY Yummy Chicken Fried Steak. Oh how lovely it was. The kids gobbled it up. I gobbled it up. My hubby wished he could gobble it up. He was at work so he got a picture of it instead of a bite. Even the cat wanted some. It was fabulous.

This is awesome for me. I am learning new things and loving it. I used my cast iron (which I am becoming quite good at doing) and seasoned it with some delicious, fattening food tonight and am super proud of myself. VICTORY for me!! I am going to make it again tomorrow night for Honey because he wasn't here to enjoy it tonight. He loves that type of food...hearty, comforting Man Food. He deserves it. I'll take some pictures to post, if I remember. I never do pictures on here but this is in need of some pics.

Gravy Shmazy...it's all easy for me now!!

p.s. my Honey and Mom are amazed at how I didn't know how to make those two things but can create a full-blown, all-out meal for holidays

p.p.s. weird, I know

Changing Times

Right now life is changing in so many ways it is hard to keep up. Here's some of the changes heading our way: moving, new job, loss of a job, change in income, growing boys

My Honey has been a stay-at-home Daddy for the past two months and that is going to change soon. It was a lovely, rough transition and I am going to be a bit sad that he has to go back to work. We prepared for him to be able to stay at home for some time with us but that time is coming to an end. It is a happy and sad thing at the same time.

With these really big changes, moving to a new location that is quite possibly out of state, somewhere that I have never been, are minor changes that have already happened. I have lost friends in the physical sense, not death but they moved. I am in the process of losing more and that makes me so very sad. It all started with "losing" a family and then from there it just keeps happening. I'm glad it isn't in a final kind of way but it is still a loss one way or another.

I am excited for what God has for my wonderful family of four. I am still human and feel sadness for the losses that have happened and have yet to happen. Friendships have changed, lives are different, relationships are different.

I was sitting on the couch just now thinking about all these things. I wanted to write them down so I wouldn't forget my raw emotions.

Staying on Track

okay, so this post is going to stray away from my usual ones. this post is for me but i know the two people that read this blog (hey there folks) will see it too. that's okay. i don't mind.

My goals this week: don't go over points. exercise at least four out of the seven days. one cup of coffee a day, possibly two if it's a Smallville kind of night. only water except for cup of coffee mentioned. lessen salt intake.

So those are my goals this week. I've been doing great on my weight loss journey but have come to a stand still. It is quite normal and expected. This is my way of battling it and I am going to see if it helps. Maybe a bit more accountability is all I need.

I am going back to the basics with small goals for the week, that way I can keep them and not give up on them. Wish me luck!!

click click

I want a camera. I good camera. I want to take pictures of my kids, dogs, cat, house, husband, and food...oh yeah and our garden.

I have some friends that are guiding me in the right direction. I don't want to start out with some fancy, shmancy camera because I might just decide I don't want to photograph stuff. But I also might find that I LOVE it. It would be easier for me to upgrade than to waste tons of cash.

I am going to do some research and see what I come up with. Just thought I'd share my thoughts with you guys...whoever you are.

This Heat

I am so tired of this heat. The grass is brown and CRUNCHY!! Grass is not meant to be crunchy. Our garden died from the heat. Watering works only some but we really need water from above to do the trick properly. It's too hot to go outside for more then just a half hour or so.

It's crazy, crazy hot.

I do not do so well in really hot weather. I'm from Houston so this might be a shocker to some (my husband in particular). It's usually the beginning of September when I start getting really irritated with Houston weather. I want fall to come. I want cooler weather. I want leaves to change colors. I want to make yummy, warm food and not break into a sweat. I want to drink hot drinks. I want my sweaters for pete's sake. I love my sweaters and I can't wear any of them.

This heat is draining. It makes me not want to exercise, cook, clean, or do anything fun. I know I sound like Debbie Downer but I am just fed up with this heat. You know what makes me even more sad? I think about pumpkin patches and pumpkin carving wearing A TANK TOP AND SHORTS!! That just ain't right.

I haven't blogged in awhile. It's because I'm not quite sure where to start I guess. The easiest way for me to write it down is in list form. I love lists. I really do.

Here we go, it's all random and out of order. I'm going to jot down what comes to my head and you decipher it at your own risk:

*my hubby no longer has a job

*we do not have another job lined up yet

*family drama has gotten out of control

*i'm working on getting it under control

*it's a task too big for me to handle yet i'm still going to try

*my dog is shedding like crazy and it's making me crazy along the way

*Tristan is learning to read and i couldn't be more proud

*Aiden wishes he knew how to read and is just too cute for words when he sits with his books

*we have big, BIG plans for our future but don't know what they are

*Honey and i are really, truly learning what it means to trust God

*our life right now, as we speak, is a testament of our faith and trust in Him

*it's hotter than hot right now and i think i'm going to melt soon

*i've lost 17.2 lbs this summer

*i have lots more to go

*i still can't wear my wedding ring but i'm getting there, slowly but surely

*we got a cat, he is black, his name is Sable

*he is a very, VERY good cat

*my roses are dying and that makes me super sad

*sometimes i feel life is flying by and other times i feel it is at a stand-still

*i'm baking more and cooking less

*i want to cook more

*Honey and i are learning to live on a real, grown-up style budget and it doesn't suck

*menu planning has become increasingly more difficult the healthier i eat

*i'm totally addicted to pinterest

I think that's it.

less is more ... or is it?

Small houses.

That is what is on my mind today. My house is good. It is spacious and both boys have their own room. My master bedroom is huge and the bathroom is FABULOUS!!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

I am thinking of smaller. And of less. Less of what? Stuff.

What is important to you? What is important to me? Are what you think is important and what I think is important the same? Probably not. Maybe so. Either way, that's okay.

Everybody has an opinion. But what really matters is what you and your spouse feel is best for you two and y'alls family, right? Or what is best for you if you are single.

Honey and I always dream of one day having a loft in Paris. A LOFT PEOPLE. Loft's are small, cozy, intimate. We want to be together in life and travel and have fun. Make memories with our children. Sometimes you have to have less to have more.

Do you ever watch House Hunters International? Or heard a story where people just took a chance and left everything they know to pursue a dream in a far off place? Did you think to yourself...IDIOTS!!?? Probably not. I tend to think...wow, what risk takers!! What an awesome idea, to just take a chance and do it. What "it" is changes with each couple, person, or family.

I dream of doing that one day; just taking a chance, trusting God, and live out my dream to travel, eat well, and have fun in life with my family.

I am currently figuring out what really matters to me. What I can't live without and what I can live with.

Do you know what you can't live without? What's your dream? Would you be able to live in a small house/space for the sake of living somewhere awesome or having awesome opportunities?

Comforting

Life has been a whirlwind lately.

I have been through *every* emotion possible in the last two weeks. Happy, Sad, Surprised, Frustrated, Joyous, Scared, Calm, Unnerved, Sane, Tired, Excited! I can keep going and going but you get the picture.

Right now, as I sit in front of my little computer with my cup of coffee, my children are watching Jake and the Never land Pirates, cuddling with me in my chair. There isn't enough room for the three of us and I love it. That just means that we sit closer to each other to make up for lack of space. My boys give me kisses about every five minutes and tell me that they love me. They have the purest of hearts and are my true treasures.

I am blessed beyond I ever imagined. I guess I underestimated God. I didn't think He could be (or should be) this good to me. Boy was I wrong. God is bigger than we think and if we think we know how big He is, then we are very wrong. He is bigger. My boys have a Veggie Tales show that talks about how big God is and this song is running through my brain as I type...."God is bigger than the Boogie Man" Haha.

I am going through something right now that gives me an opportunity trust God COMPLETELY. A chance for me to really know He has plans for me that are bigger and better than I could understand at the moment. He is control, not me. He has His glorious, protecting hands around me and my heart. He has my family under His care. He knows what is best for my family. He is love. He is good. He is caring. He is my protector.

My heart calms down when I remember that if I trust Him 100%, I have nothing to worry about. It's nice to know that I don't need to waste my time worrying about the unknown.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:33-34

5.2

Bad Timing

It is always a holiday weekend or when a vacation is coming up that kids get sick. Isn't it stange?

This weekend is the Fourth of July Holiday and this weekend we are going to New Braunfels. Last week my Aiden got super, super sick and it subsided. Then yesterday my two sons (*BOTH of them*) woke up sick. I thought it was allergies but it very quickly turned into Croup. Not good. Not good at all. My MIL is coming in today and the vacation is in a few days. I want them to have so much fun with her. She is wonderful to them and for them. I do NOT want to take sick kids down the river, nor do I want sick kids keeping me from going down the river. This is our ONE time a year that we get to go have fun with my side of the family, out of town, away from the routine of every day.

I hope my babies get well quickly so they can enjoy Grandma's visit (which doesn't happen nearly enough) and family time. If they don't, no vacation for us.

Boys will be Boys

Sometimes I get a feeling that my boys are too rowdy. Sometimes it's they're too loud. Other times it may be they are too rough.

It's okay though. I remind myself I don't need to raise them according to the worlds standards. I need to raise them according to God's standards. God made everyone different. God made them rowdy. God made them loud. God made them PERFECTLY.

My job is to teach them to believe in Him, trust Him, honor Him, and how to use what God gave them in a way that glorifies Him.

It is okay to be loud (where appropriate). It is okay to rough (as long as no one is hurt). It is okay to be boys. It is okay for me to let them be boys.

The world tells me to have children who never yell, hit, bite, or get into trouble. Well, that just isn't going happen. The world can teach me that all they want. God is my teacher. God will help me with what He gave me. God will teach me to teach my sons how life should be and how we should be within the world He created. God will help me when my children yell, hit, bite, or get into trouble because those things will happen.

Life isn't about being polite and proper. Life is about glorifying God and embracing all the gifts He has given us.

I will NOT be embarrassed when my child sings at the top of his lungs in a store "Jesus Loves MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". He is spreading the Truth. I will NOT be embarrassed when my child passes gas in a movie theater during the quiet time of the show and says "excuse me" rather loudly. He is showing manners. I will NOT be embarrassed when my two sons are a bit loud sometimes when they are playing together. They are showing friendship and love for one another.

Life is too uptight.

God is good.

I'd rather live according to God's standards than to this corrupt, selfish worlds.

2.6

Renew, Manifest, Enhance, Release

My beautiful friend/cousin posted this question on her blog (thanks Mina) and I thought I would steal it. Hope you don't mind!

Ask yourself, what you want to renew, manifest, enhance, or release in or from your life.

I want to renew my faith. God is a living God who is always showing us His beauty and truth. We just have to open our eyes and heart to it. I fall into slumps and need help out of them. God is my help, my rock, my fortress.

I want to manifest my love for my family. I want people to see my family and see love. Lots and lots and lots of love.

I would love to enhance my marriage. Every marriage needs enhancement. Julian and I have come a long way in our almost 5 years together as husband and wife. I can't wait to keep on growing with him and our babies. We are in such a good place and I know that God has great things in store for us.

Release: I think we all want release of some sort. I want to release all the negative in my life. I know that won't happen though. God uses negative to help us grow. Without bad, how can we see His good? So here is what I really want to release; My own demons. My own lies. My own craziness. MY negative. I can work on that and God *will* help me along the way. He is a good God. A gracious God. A Forgiving God.

3.4

better than you

I feel like I'm failing. I know I'm not, but it feels like it sometimes.

My Tristan is all about competition these days. Not sports or anything but in life.

"I beat you"
"Mine is bigger"
"I'm faster"
"I'm better"
"I have more"

These are things I hear daily. I always have the same response, "God loves us no matter how slow or fast, small or big, last or first". I say it at least four times a day. Over and over and over.

It never seems to sink in. The next hour or day, he will say it again. And he believes in his heart that he is better for being faster or bigger or better. I ask him what the truth is and he will repeat what I've told him but he doesn't truly believe it...yet. He believes the lie.

I keep telling myself that I can't quit repeating the truth and that one day his heart will remember it!

I quietly feel my heart cry every time he says those things. I wish it weren't so. I wish it didn't matter to him. I wish the world didn't teach him that you have to be better than everyone and everything else. But wishing doesn't change those things. My heart, my mouth and certainly my God can change those things though. God can use me to show my son the truth.

This is what being a parent is all about. Teaching our children the truth, no matter how long it takes or how hard the truth is.

Why not?

so lately I've been asking myself "why not?" when my kids want something. I would find myself saying "no" a lot when they wanted something out of the norm or if I didn't want to spend a ton of time cleaning up what they wanted to play with. But that isn't good. Nope, not at all.

So now I ask myself "why not?" and if the answer is legit, then No will be the answer. Buuuuuut if I have no other reason to say no besides the fact that I am just lazy, the answer will be Yes.

Fleeting

I forgot how tiny my babies were at birth.
I forgot how comforting it was when my babies fell asleep on me.
I forgot how fragile a newborn is.
I forgot all the work needed with *little* ones.
I forgot about the cute clothes.

I did NOT forget their smell.
or their smiles.
or their cuddles.
or laugh.
or first words.
or first steps, which were towards me.
I did *NOT* forget how Momma was the only one who could make things all better.

Life is quick. Everything is in fast forward. We look to the next big thing. We forget to just enjoy the moment. To live in This moment.

Take pictures. Take time. Take it all in.

Woman/Women

As women we are bombarded with so many different emotions in such a little amount of time. We, literally, can go from sad to happy to mad to joyous to depressed to over the moon in less than 10 seconds. It's CRAZY!!

Here is what I've noticed: I can identify all my different emotions. I can even go further and figure out WHY I feel that way. Admission: not all the time though. BUUUUUT I am getting better at it.

Raw Truth Moment. Last night my Honey and I were watching television and out of nowhere I got into a mood. Not a nice mood either. It just came to me. I moved to the other couch and was quiet. The show we were watching normally gets feedback from both of us. Well I decided to not give feedback because I was being moody. Honey noticed and tried to comfort me. Information Insert: normally I would say nothing is wrong and then still act like a baby. I would be rude. I would expect for Honey to read my mind as well as emotions and fix them without any of my help. Is that fair? NO. Is it possible? NO. Last night I told him that my mood was unjustifiable and unfair and pointless as soon as he came to my couch to comfort me. Progress People. Progress. I told him exactly what I was feeling and then dug a bit deeper and realized why my mood was ugly. I told him why and we quickly were back to normal.

Easy Peesy. I'm impressed with myself.

I no longer fight the emotions and dwell on why I'm having them or preventing them all the time. I embrace them and deal with them and pray for change if it's needed. I work WITH my Honey and we are a better couple as a result. He prays for me and I pray for him and together we rely on God to get us through this crazy thing called life. And you know what? I am having moods less often. Weird but wonderful.

As a woman, I am well aware of my craziness. I tell Honey I am on the crazy train (Choo Choo) and sometimes it's a long ride and other times it's just a short one. Sometimes it's full speed ahead and sometimes it isn't. You know what he does? He patiently waits for me to get off the train. He makes my departure nice and sweet and always has open arms waiting for me. I sure am one blessed woman to have him. I am also one crazy woman for him to love.

I got the better deal on that one. WINK WINK!!

Sick on Mother's Day

I know, right? Ugh.

I can say this though, it turned out to be one of the best Mothers Day ever. Why, you might ask? This weekend was all about showing love. My husband and two boys showed me massive amounts of love.

Saturday I was seriously not feeling well AT ALL. All three of my boys let me decide everything I wanted to do. My Honey made me an omelet for breakfast (delicious) and my boys brought me pink roses in bed with a singing card. It was soooooooo cute.

I tried to be up for anything and we still needed to get my mom a present ({GASP} I hadn't gotten it yet) so we headed off to the mall. Honey said I could get anything I wanted. ANYTHING!! You know what I got? A sweater.

Yep. A sweater. I did get my Mom earrings though. Beautiful earrings.

I was not up for shopping, eating, talking, walking. I didn't want to do anything. My boys were behaving so beautifully. They let Mommy have a bad day.

We headed home (Honey could tell I wasn't going to last much longer) and picked up dinner along the way. We got home, ate, and I fell asleep at about 7:30. Ha. I was pooped.

I slept all the way until after 8 the next morning. I was one tired Mommy.

I was feeling somewhat better Sunday but not good enough to go to church and be around healthy people and risk getting them sick. I was sad about that because my friend was dedicating her baby and I had to miss it. Boo. I did make it to my Moms though. It was a great day filled with great food and great company.

All in all, it was a fabulous Mothers Day weekend. I wish I weren't sick but oh well. Honey said I could have a redo shopping spree if I want. We'll see.

I'm still sick today so hopefully this sore throat thing go away quickly. It's already been a few days and I'm not enjoying any moment of it.

Clicking

Life is good. My Honey is awesome. My boys are healthy and happy. My mind is clear. Life is truly good.

Things seem to be finally clicking. Problems are working themselves out in my family (I don't think the drama will ever fully go away but I accept that now). Money is money but it doesn't stress me out...it never really has but I feel led to say something about it because we should never let money be a source of negative energy in our lives. My house is coming together nicely. We have two (slightly three with all the pots) gardens that are doing marvelous. I wasn't into gardening but decided I should be because my Honey loved it so much. I found out I really do like it. It is very soothing and fun. You feel good knowing you are using your own homegrown ingredients for food. LOVE it. I love the inside of my house. I'm very eclectic and I love it. It's always changing and that suits me just fine.

Julian and I seem to be more in love now than ever before. I love growing older with him. He is my anchor and I am so thankful to have him.

Lately I have noticed how much I have matured. Taking a few months to pull myself together has done wonders. I really made sure I was doing what I needed to do to nurture the things that were most important to me and it has paid off nicely. Relationships needed some TLC and now they are doing much better. My head is on straight and I can see more clearly now. Life is always going to challenge us and I want to have fun during those times. I want my days filled with love, laughter, smiles, hugs, and kisses. It got to a point where those things were missing. Needless to say those were not fun days. Things are so much better now. SO much.

Thank you God for never leaving me and always being constant. Thank you for Your living word.

My Baby is Two

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDEN!!

You turn two today. Two years and three hours ago you came into our world. You had the cutest cry that had me worried. It was so loud and high pitched. You had brown hair and were beautiful. I loved you the moment I saw you. Truth be told, I loved you the moment I knew I was carrying you in my belly.

You have brought such joy to our lives. You have a gorgeous smile with bright eyes. You look just like your Daddy and you have his behaviour too. You are a risk taker and don't look back. You act without thinking and have no regrets. I hope that you become just like your Daddy when you grow up. I love him with all that I am and I love you just as much.

You are my world and I thank you for all the wonderful things that you have taught me. I couldn't imagine my life without my Eh-geh in it.

nnnga

Mundane

Sometimes it's so nice to find the joy in the mundane everyday!

I find joy in my God, my husband, my kids, my pets, my garden, my life.

I love you Julian. I love you Tristan. I love you Aiden.

Every day we make a choice. A choice to be happy or a choice to be unhappy. I choose Happy today. I choose Joy. I choose Love.

To Be or Not To Be ...

Guilty that is. Sometimes I feel guilty about certain rules I want enforced, other times I don't.

Here is an example: I don't like toys out in the living areas of the house. Living, as in social gathering areas, like the kitchen, dining room, and living room. The boys have their own side of the house which includes two rooms, a bathroom, and a hallway. Plenty of space with PLENTY of toys. I know why they keep bringing out into the living room but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Today Tristan brought six, yes SIX, trains out into the living room while I was trying to vacuum. I told him to take his trains back into the room where the train table (with tracks and everything) was. I started to feel guilty about that, as if I should let him have his toys wherever he wants, because in the big picture it doesn't really hurt anyone. But then I remembered that I gave them HALF of my house to play with toys.

Why does the guilt always have to be there? I know I'm not out of line enforcing rules that make sense but the guilt is still there. I do have my reasons for toys not being all over the house by the way. And I've told them thousands of times to keep their toys on their side of the house!!

I love those boys DEARLY (read last post) but sometimes I just wish they would listen a bit better. My lovely lads are no different than any other kids, this I know, but it is just as equally frustrating. Some days are harder than others for us Mommies. Today is one of those days.

Letter to My Tristan and My Aiden

To My Precious, Beautiful, Wonderful Blessings

I love you so incredibly much. These words are from my heart to yours. This song makes me cry every time I hear it because I think of you two and how God knew exactly who to create for me to love unconditionally, not once but twice. Mommy will always love you, Always and Forever! I thank our Heavenly Father every day for both of you.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE by Addison Road

There's a little flame inside us all
Some shine bright, some shine small
The rains will come and the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light

In this life you will know Love and pain, joy and sorrow
So when it hurts, when times get hard
Don't forget whose child you are

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine, gonna let it shine

May you live each day with no regret
Make the most of every chance you get
Let your eyes get wide when you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart

With the ones you love treasure the time
And for those who are gone keep their memories alive
Hold on to your dreams don't ever let go
There's a fire inside you burning with hope

There will be days when you want to give up
When the clouds settle in
But after the rain comes the sun
Don't you ever forget

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus' face
So until then I'm gonna try to brave the dark and let my little light shine

There's a little light inside us all

Learning

Learning. It can be fun. It can be exciting. It can be hard. It can be sad. It can be lots of different things. I am learning that life is all about what you make of it. We are here for a purpose. How do we live out that purpose? I'm learning and it is fun, hard, and worth it. Some days are much easier than others but everyday isn't as hard as our minds make it out to be. Christ is ALWAYS with us and He gives us the strength (and tools) to help us through it. I've been looking back at the last year & a half and can now see that God was teaching me something. I can take what was given and do nothing OR I can take it and grow, grow, grow!! I'm going to choose the latter. I would rather see my past as the stepping stones for the future. I will have a better understanding of situations that will come again in life and know how to handle them (better) next time. Of course, I still struggle with certain things but who doesn't? Who doesn't have reoccurring struggles? But now I don't feel so alone. God is good and that's all there is to it.

Lies

Why do people feel the need to lie? I don't get it. "White" lies are still LIES! Just don't do it. Honesty is the best policy. If someone can't handle the truth that is their issue not yours. Just don't lie.

I can't handle them. I loathe them. I don't lie and don't want to be lied to. I'm a big girl. I can take whatever comes my way. If I look fat in something, I would like to know the true answer if I ask you. Don't say "No" if the answer is "Yes". That is a white lie most people do.

But I was lied to in a bigger way. In a way that makes me mad inside because the other party must think so little of me that she didn't want to tell me the truth. As if I am some rude, inconsiderate person and wouldn't respect her wishes. That is when I really, really hate lies. It not only isn't right but you are throwing how you feel about the other person out there. Here is an example:

We will go back to the fat lie mentioned above. If someone asks you if they look fat but you say no then you must think that they can't handle the truth. But what if they can? If they ask, they can handle the truth. We all know that the truth hurts sometimes.

Lies always come back around. They just do. Somehow they will come to surface. Maybe not now, maybe not in the near future, but someday they will.

Stealing Happiness

You know who knows you really, really well? Satan. Yep, he does. He studies you. He watches over you. He will go to great lengths to turn you from God.

He knows my weaknesses. He knows when to whisper silly, hurtful, little lies into my ear to bring me down. He has studied me all my life and knows exactly how to look endearing and trustworthy only to then yank the joy right out of my heart. I've caught on to his tricks. It has taken me 30 years but he keeps it fresh to keep fooling me BUT it's the same trick deep down, just different casings. It's all the same for me....DISCONTENTMENT!!

That is his secret weapon. He gets to me with my contentment issues. I know one thing in particular that prevents me from being content. I struggle with it. I can't help but feel inadequate, left out, judged, being the one judging, jealous, envious, mad and sad. Those are some of the emotions but all emotions are felt when I engage in this new way of life. What am I talking about? Facebook.

FB is just another tool for Satan to use against me. It is great for others but not me. I used to like it but now I just find myself getting a ball of unwanted emotions in my tummy every time I go to that site.

It has taken me a long time to finally see what was going on. I kept thinking that something was wrong with me, that I had problems. I see now that it is perfectly fine that FB might be great for others but not great for me. I haven't been putting status updates (regularly) for a few weeks now and no one even noticed. If they did, they said nothing. Nothing at all. I had to bring it up to people for them to notice. It doesn't matter if I am on there or not. It doesn't effect anyone else but it does effect my life.

I would rather go back to high school days when I had to call someone and talk to them to find out what's going on in their life or just to chat because we enjoyed each others company. I do LOVE texting though. With my two boys it is much easier to type out a text and send it rather than be on the phone and have them go nuts trying to get my attention. I sound like an 80 year old woman that is refusing to accept the changing times but I see what is good for my family, myself, and my journey to be like Christ. If something is getting in the way of that then I need to remove it.

With that, so long Facebook. I leave you now but who knows what the future holds. It's been a good/bad/long run.

A bit sad and A tad mad

It really sucks when life blows crappy changes your way...or someone else's way and it affects you.

Some major changes happened to someone I love. May-Jor changes!! At first I thought they were good changes and then quickly realized how wrong I was. The thing is, it affects my family and me personally. You wouldn't think that someone else's stuff would...someone who lives out of state away from you but it can.

I have realized a few things along the way:

1) You never really know someone

2) They will say it's your fault bad things came from something that they consider good

3) People are SUPER selfish

4) I love this person and her family very much and it saddens my heart to see not-so-good changes take place

5) What we do (or don't do) can negatively affect other people

6) Life is really, REALLY hard sometimes

I hope that things go back to what they were only tweaked a bit to help things get better. I am worried that things will never be the same again after this last year. I am worried that misunderstandings and neglect to see the truth will kill relationships.

Here is what I have to say, bottom line: ALWAYS hear and accept other people's side of the story. Don't just disregard someone's feelings because they don't match your own. We are all different and God made us that way.

If you feel you have been hurt, think of the other person and if you may have hurt them.

Marriage is ...

Marriage is….loving more than you ever thought possible.

Marriage is….freedom.

Marriage is….fun beyond imagination.

Marriage is….contentment.

Marriage is….settling into a new normal.

Marriage is….a wonderful new life.

Marriage is…..misunderstandings.

Marriage is…..learning to forgive.

Marriage is…..wanting more.

Marriage is….waiting.

Marriage is…..infertility.

Marriage is….miscarriage.

Marriage is…..grief.

Marriage is……leaning on each other.

Marriage is…..two people grieving differently.

Marriage is….not understanding.

Marriage is…..turning back to the Lord.

Marriage is….accepting.

Marriage is….daily mundane.

Marriage is…..eating leftovers.

Marriage is…..dishes and laundry.

Marriage is….a much needed night out together.

Marriage is….coming together again.

Marriage is…..loving more than you ever thought possible.

Marriage is….welcoming new life.

Marriage is….learning something new.

Marriage is….being a real “team”.

Marriage is…..seeing each other in a whole new “light”.

Marriage is…..doing hard things for someone.

Marriage is…..getting up at 5am when you don’t have the energy to.

Marriage is…..forgetting to nourish each other.

Marriage is……drifting.

Marriage is…..not agreeing with how to handle a situation.

Marriage is....hard.

Marriage is….anger.

Marriage is….more anger.

Marriage is….sleeping with your backs to each other.

Marriage is….thinking really ugly thoughts.

Marriage is…..getting help from other believers.

Marriage is……surrender of your own “will”.

Marriage is…..learning to let a lot of things….go.

Marriage is……grace.

Marriage is……not expecting perfection.

Marriage is…..learning a “new” way to love.

Marriage is…..appreciating each other.

Marriage is…..being unendingly thankful to the Lord for each other.

Marriage is…..loving more than you ever thought possible.

Marriage is…..forever.

What'd you expect?

When we repeat the same habits over and over again, what do we expect? Things to change? They won't. They can't. We are doing the same actions/thoughts/reactions repeatedly. We aren't changing. I guess we expect others to change or the environment to change or magic to happen. But magic isn't real. It's an illusion.

Don't you think we all do that? We all expect things to change without changing ourselves. WE have to be the ones to produce change.

I'm seeing this play out in my everyday life. My marriage, my relationship with my sons, my work, and my family. I am seeing beautiful, wonderful changes. I'm the one who is making it happen. I see that when I change, I make my life happier. And I mean change for the better.

Change, for me, came in the form of REprioritizing and really embracing the Holy Spirit within me. If I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me then I can't go wrong.

I am also talking about health changes. I am still not doing so hot in that department but I'm not awful either. How do I actually get to the point where change is manageable? I am still trying to figure that out. I'm obviously not there yet. I hope to get there one day but until then I will continue to seek changes where needed.

Any change in the right direction deserves celebration. CELEBRATE the little things. Don't overlook them. We, as women, so often overlook the minor things.

Lovely

It has been such a lovely week. I know it's only Monday but I'm talking about a lovely week since last Monday.

Julian and I have been in such great moods with each other and because we are going through an intense, thought provoking series at church we have been in conversation all week. Literally, all week. We have NEVER done that before (unless we were fighting and the fight kept going on and on and on). I love it. We are learning about each other. We are learning about our kids. We are loving each other deeper than ever. It truly is amazing what God can do for husbands and wives. He is the center of it all and we revolve around Him.

I have a new, profound love for my babies. I was getting really irritated with them recently and now I have a new sense of patience and respect for them. They are my blessings and I should treat them as such. They are the tangible evidence of my love for Julian. They are so incredibly wonderful.

The power of prayer and trust does wonders. Respect and love go hand in hand. Thank you Jesus for showing me how to love Julian and Tristan & Aiden. Thank you for loving me JUST AS I AM!

What Happened?!

to my sweet boys eating habits? Tristan used to eat anything and everything. Aiden has always been a bit picky. Now both of them are the pickiest eaters. Aiden is actually not that bad, he just wants to be the one feeding himself. He doesn't like green things though. But if I put something on a plate and let him feed himself (and make a big mess along the way) then he is okay. Tristan on the other hand, is not. He is in the phase/stage where everything is "Ewww". It doesn't get a nasty look as long as it is covered in sugar or is crispy like a cracker or chip.

It's very hard to make a menu. I get very sad when I make something and they both turn their noses up to it. I am trying my best though.

What's a Mom to do?

On the Mend

FINALLY we are getting normal again. We have had some sort of funky germs in our presence for three or more weeks now. That is a very long time folks. I was sick for a week and a half. Julian was sick for only a few days and Tristan was sick off and on for about two weeks. Aiden has been fine.

I finally was getting over my ick (Tristan was fine now minus a bit of a cough and Aiden's nose was a bit runny but I think this weird weather caused that) when Julian came down with flu. THE FLU! This was Monday. Today is Thursday. I went to work on Monday and when I got there I saw how bad Julian was doing. Yes, we work together. He went home right away. When I got home later that day, I immediately made sure he was okay and then left the house with the boys. I didn't want to get the flu. We didn't get flu shots this year. Well, Tristan got one of two shots and Aiden didn't any, neither did I. I had a surgical mask I wore and I even slept on the couch. I was staying as far away from those flu germs as possible.

I am very happy to report that Julian is MUCH better (he went back to work today) and the boys and I managed to avoid the ick. We are all doing good. Tristan still has a cough, not sure what that's all about, and Aiden is doing great as usual.

Praise God! Thank you for your prayers.

is this typical?

It's 6:36 p.m. right now. My family of four sat down for dinner at probably 6:15. The protesting of dinner began at 6:14. Aiden cried almost the whole time and we ended up turning his high chair towards the wall in the corner because we aren't supposed to cry at dinner. Mean, maybe. Do I care? NO. Did he eventually stop crying? Yes. Did he start up again? Duh.

Tristan finally ate all his food. Yay. Aiden ended having three bites and that was it. The whining hasn't stopped. Aiden is still crying. Why you might ask. Well, he wants to play with his fork to play with his food. Not eat it. We don't play with forks. We eat with forks. So no fork for Aiden. Hence the whining still.

Julian is in Aiden's room getting him ready for bed because I am about ready to explode if I have to listen to his whining/crying any more today. I'm done.

So overall here how it went: Four sat down for dinner. Two people ate, two people cried. One faced the wall for part of dinner. Dinner was quick because it was miserable and trying to talk to one another was a joke. One child is now watching a movie while the other is *hopefully* going to bed. Mommy is blogging because she might explode otherwise. She doesn't want to yell and complain so she writes it down instead this time.

This all happened in 21 minutes.

Losing it

Please pray for my sanity. I'm going crazy. Literally crazy.

I have been dealing with some sort of sickness for going on a week now. This is about the time that I start going bonkers. I can't handle being down and out for more than 7 days. It started with Julian last weekend and then went to Tristan and now I'm sick. Tristan is too. IT SUCKS!!

I feel horrible and hope that I'm on the upside of this thing. I slept Saturday night thru Monday morning and it seems to have helped. Some. Not completely. How crazy is that?

So please blog readers, pray for my sanity and healing. Pray for my babies health. I would greatly appreciate all prayers I can get.

Love you guys.

Thankful

I thank God every time my kids sleep through the night. I really do. I have great sleepers. Tristan was six weeks old sleeping through the night. We were blessed beyond blessed with an easy, wonderful baby. Aiden, on the other hand, was not a good sleeper until he was one. Now he is a great sleeper. He falls asleep and you don't have to worry about him at all.

Tristan has gone through a few phases where he wakes up at all hours of the night for various reasons. Sometimes he has to go potty, sometimes he already went potty and needs me to clean up the mess, sometimes he just wants his Mommy, sometimes he wants water (only a sip to please him but no more than that or else there's a greater chance of accidents), sometimes he had bad dreams. But usually he is good and stays in bed. He's always been that way, good I mean. He is the one who I can depend on. If I say "No, don't touch that", he won't touch it. Aiden will touch it to see my reaction. Bless his little rebellious heart. He is EXACTLY like his Daddy. EXACTLY.

I'm digressing. What I'm trying to say is that I am so very thankful for wonderful children who are patient with me right now as I'm sick. They did great last night. Daddy didn't home until after 9 o'clock so I had to do everything with bedtime. I was not feeling good at all and they knew it. They behaved so well. They did Horrible in the afternoon time, refer to previous post, but made up for it at bedtime. And this morning they let Mommy sleep a bit later also. I put on Curious George, Cat in the Hat, and Super Why. During all three shows they sat like little statues and let me rest on the couch. I love them so much.

I am thankful for my two very different, loving, gentle, rough, smart, rebellious children. They are everything all in one....or two I should say.

Rough Day

Today sucks. I'm sick and the boys are acting crazy. I think it's a combination of me not having patience and them being extra sensitive today. Not a good combo. Tristan didn't go to school today (his tummy was acting up this morning) and I had to go to work.

Tristan apparently watched a t.v. show today that had some kid saying "oh no, my feet are shrinking" but realized, at the end of the show, that his feet are not shrinking but he is growing. So now Tristan is freaked out that his feet are shrinking. He said this on the entire 45 minute drive home (I had to take my Mom to Conroe after work to pick up her car) with tears streaming down his face. He really did think his feet were shrinking. "My piggies have owies Mommy. Bad ones. I need a band-aid" Oh dear. My little drama king. He really is folks. He is sooooooooooo sensitive. I love him but today he is just annoying me. As I type this I realize how funny it sounds. I just wish I realized the humor earlier.

Aiden is fine. He is just being himself but today I can't take it. He does this thing in the car where he cries/whines/screams until I look at him. Then he just stops and is perfectly fine. Or he keeps asking for milk even though he knows milk isn't allowed in the car. I don't play that game anymore. Now I just ignore him and eventually he stops. Today I couldn't take it. He started his thing, as usual, and I was so mad that I turned up the radio really loud (this is probably the 6th time he randomly bursted out cries/screams) and yelled "I don't hear you anymore!!" He did eventually stop (as usual). I was just fed up with all the crying from shrinking feet and heck if I know why Aiden cries.

We got home and I put the boys in their own rooms and had them play for about an hour all by themselves (meaning alone without each other). I needed that hour. It was a good hour. I ordered pizza for dinner because there wasn't any chance I was cooking. When the pizza arrived we had dinner and then cuddled on the couch together to watch Monsters, Inc.. It was nice snuggling with them because of the rough afternoon we had. I told them that I loved them both very much and that Mommy was having a rough day. They each gave me hugs and kisses to make all better. I love them.

So now I sit here on my couch stuffed from pizza and cinnapie with the house silent. Both boys are in bed and I am going to watch me some CSI NY and catch up on any other shows I missed.

Changes are a good thing

I mentioned before in one of my posts that Julian and I didn't have the best year in 2010. We had some really, really good times but the bad ones were, well, bad.

We are making changes to our relationship that seem to be working out very nicely. I won't go into detail of them, for his sake because he is kind of a private guy, but it's just normal, plain, simple things you would think of. Nothing big or radical but just simple changes. It's doing wonders already and it's only been a few weeks!!

I love that man. He is so good to me.

Speaking of changes, my boys are growing up so fast. Aiden is now talking. He says so many things it's ridiculous. Most words other people can't understand but I can. It's so nice to have him finally talk. He is all over the house learning new things. He watches our every move and tries to do it himself when we aren't looking. He loves to help me around the house. Little chores bring a big smile to his face, such as throwing his own diaper away or putting clothes in the dryer for me. His hair is getting long and I love it. It's so fine and soft.

Tristan is one smart cookie. He hears EVERYTHING that is said and then stores it in his brain and will bring it back to life at odd moments in time. It's awesome. He is so sensitive and really, really LOVES his family. He always wants to cuddle and be around Julian or me. He also wants to hug his brother often. It really is the cutest thing. He is doing fantastic at school. All those "problems" I was so worried about worked themselves out. He is a wonderful student and truly enjoys going to school. I'm glad I stopped worrying about it and just let God handle it for me. It worked out for the best.

I have a beautiful feeling that 2011 is going to be FANTASTIC. Julian and I are already planning mini-vacas for our family as well as our five year wedding anniversary celebration (it isn't until Oct but we are planning something BIG). Oh so excited!!

Diggin' 2011

So today is only a week into 2011 and I am LOVING it. Julian and I seem to be on this Love High and I never want to come down. My Tristan is growing up so much and loves helping Momma. He is the best ever. Aiden is FINALLY learning words. He is talking a lot more and each day is something new. He is getting better with his fits but when they come, they are still doozies. But at least they aren't as frequent as before.

Changes are all around me. I am going back to working three days a week now. I have someone coming to watch my boys when I'm at work one of those days. I am waiting to see if Aiden can get into the MDO program Tristan is in. If he is accepted (they might have an opening in a week) then both boys will be in MDO and my Mom won't have to watch them anymore. They are getting a bit much for her these days. Plus, she has minor surgery coming up soon and I don't want her stressing about the boys. So this is something new and different. I've never had someone watch Tristan or Aiden on a weekly basis other than my Mom. I trust who is watching them though. She is a friend of mine and I have known her for a few years now. Her little girl is so smart and adorable. Thank you Grace.

These last seven days have been awesome. I love the year so far and hope it just keeps getting better or maintaining this greatness.

The fall will come because it always does. For every high there is a low, I know I know. But I feel like I can conquer anything. I can handle the fall and be a better person afterwards. Learn from them. For awhile, I felt like I was falling with the falls. I couldn't get back up. I was drowning in a sea of ... something. I don't know what but it was something. But now, now I feel good. Now I feel prepared.

2011, thanks for the good week. God, thanks for everything.

Good-bye 2010 and Hello 2011

Today is the first day of the new year. I certainly hope that 2011 brings love, joy and peace to my heart and family. 2010 was a rough year for me.

It's safe for me to say that 2010 was the worst year of my life to date. It sucked pretty bad. I've reflected on the year and am sad to report that the bad outweighs the good. I had some really good times, don't get me wrong. It's just the bad was REALLY bad. I hope, pray and wish that this new year brings all kinds of new journeys.

Here is my short version of the recap in my head:

The Good
~ Aiden turned one and we had a blast celebrating with just our family of four
~ Tristan turned three and we had the most fun ever celebrating at Wolf Creek Lodge
~ We got iPhones (which is life changing folks)
~ We got a new car, Percy
~ Julian and I had a fantastic four year wedding anniversary
~ Julian started a garden that I hope to help him with this year
~ I acquired lots and lots of cookbooks, cookware, and did lots of cooking
~ I have happy, healthy sons
~ My parents and I became much closer this year
~ We began new traditions this year (Wurstfest, Birthdays of just the four of us, Wolf Creek Lodge)
~ I turned 30
~ We had our first Christmas in Albuquerque
~ We visited my Brother-In-Laws family and had a GREAT time
~ Julian and I went to more concerts this year than last year (David Grey, Aaron Lewis, Flogging Molly)

The Bad
~ My family fell apart...royally (Dad, Mom, and Me against My Brother)
~ My B.I.L. was deployed
~ My other family fell apart some
~ Julian and I didn't have the best year as husband and wife

There are only four bad things about 2010 but they were doozies. They were all consuming and wreaked havoc on me. I hope to overcome the issues and NOT let it bring me down. I pray that it doesn't come between me and husband ever again. I also pray that we grow together in Christ and lean on each other during the rough times. Marriages aren't easy and the tough times are when your true love should shine through.