Monday, June 28, 2010

Ant See

I am antsy. I have been for quite some time now.

I am the type of person that always moves the furniture around in the house. Every time people come to my house they expect our furniture to be different than their last visit. Well, for the past few months I have left every piece of furniture right where it was for the sake of "showing" the house IF we had an appointment. It is driving me nuts. NUTS I tell you. I want to move stuff so bad but I know that I shouldn't. It involves moving wires and it makes the house look totally different each time I do it. Oh well.

I did, however, move a little bit of stuff around. I moved Aiden's dresser and play table around in his room. I changed his crib deco also. I change Tristan's bedding almost every other day to something else. It's the little things. They make me happy. I like to see new things. Actually, not new things. I just like to see things different. I don't like to see the same things in the same place day after day after day. I have always been that way. My mom said I was that way even when I was as young as five years old. I moved my room around all the time growing up.

It's just me. That's what makes me, me.

I am still antsy though. I am not quite sure why. I try to think about it and figure it out but end up getting frustrated.

Friday, June 25, 2010

My Two Sons

My Handsome Tristan

My Little Helper, Aiden

Tristan with his tower of Leggos

My Fireman!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Eggplant Parmesan

OMG...I made eggplant parmesan and it was FABULOUS.

Tonight we had my parents over to celebrate my mom's birthday. We were in Florida on her actual birthday so I asked her to tell me her favorite dish so I could make it for her. Eggplant parm is what she picked. YUM.

At first I was skeptical because #1 I don't do eggplant, #2 I have no clue how to prepare it, and #3 I couldn't find a recipe for it. I eventually found a recipe and now I love it.

I started it at 3:00 and it was served at 7:30! Sheesh. I had to let the eggplant weep (suck out the bitter juices with salt) for an hour but other than that I was busy the whole time. It is covered in two types of cheese and smothered with tomatoes. It really is delicious.

I made my own marinara sauce to go on it. I even made my own bread crumbs instead of buying them from the store. Dee-Lish. I think my "make it myself" motto is making a difference in taste. It just seems to be richer in flavor and so much cheaper. Win-Win for me.

Here is a picture of the masterpiece. Everyone went back for seconds so I think it is safe to say it was a huge success.

Friday, June 18, 2010

for my family and friends

Dear Lord, today I eagerly ask You to give my loved ones knowledge, understanding, discernment, and the perseverance needed to follow it. Help them to trust in You even through the waiting. Help them to hear Your voice whispering nearby. Allow them to feel Your very presence and see Your purpose in the midst of their circumstances. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Dear Lord,

Help me to see my children clearly today. If I need to set boundaries, please help me to set them with love and wisdom. If it is time to encourage my children to grow, give me the courage and wisdom to guide them with Your love. Thank you for my children's destiny. Thank you that You have a plan for my children. I trust in that today.


I saw this prayer this morning in my inbox and it really moved my heart. I tweaked it to fit my life personally so it isn't exactly how I read it the first time but I love this prayer. As a parent, sometimes I miss out on the happy times I could be enjoying trying to be the enforcer or disciplinarian. I don't always see what beautiful boys I have because I am concentrating on the bad behaviours instead of the good. I like this prayer so much because of that first line. Help me to see my children clearly. That is a powerful statement in my opinion.

I prayed this prayer for each child individually also. I wanted to share this with you and I hope that it moves your heart somehow just like it moved mine.

I also want to say that I believe we are all the best mother's we know how to be. We are doing a great job and have excellent children. Keep up the good work Mommies (and Daddy's).

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

He Listens

One thing I know for sure is that it is naive for a Mother to think that her two children will be exactly alike. It's incorrect to think that your two children, made from the same two people (you and your husband) and grown in the same place, would be the same. This much I know is true. HA. I was SOOOOOOOO naive to think that my two boys would be the same. But I did. And then realized how incredibily wrong I was.

Let me start out by saying I should have known better when the pregnancies themselves were completely different. I should have known better, but I didn't. I still thought "piece of cake. this one will be easy shmeesy just like Tristan was". Little did I know. I look back and laugh at myself now. I laugh and laugh thinking about how I was hoping and thinking they would be the same. Tristan was just too easy. He really was. Aiden is just different. NOT worse just different.

It's hard to explain without sounding ugly or mean or favoring of one child. I love my boys. LOVE them dearly. I am just amazed every day how different they are. I won't lie though. Tristan is easy. He has his moments where I get annoyed and upset but overall he is a FANTASTIC child. He listens and is polite (most of the time) and learns easily and sleeps through the night (since he was six weeks old) and is just so easy. He is my "I don't have to worry about him because I know he will be okay and not drive me nuts on a daily basis and will help me with his brother" child. I can count on him. He always listened. Always. If I said "no" he wouldn't do whatever it was he was doing anymore.

Aiden is the exact opposite of that. He doesn't listen. He has a mind of his own and listens to the voices in his head only. He didn't sleep through the night until he was almost one. He makes me rock him to sleep or hold him till he almost falls asleep unlike his brother who only wanted to be put down in his crib and left alone. He is textbook child. He won't let me go anywhere without him. He is a picky eater. He is all that and more. I love him so very much. He is a FANTASTIC child also. His smile will melt your heart. It makes me feel good knowing that I am his best bud and he wants just me. Again, I won't lie. That gets annoying sometimes. I can't sit through church. I can't get a babysitter. He won't let Julian comfort him. But in the end, I love it. I really do. He is my "Oh boy, I better not take my eyes off him because he will run in the middle of the street or run off somewhere. He is going to drive me crazy on a daily basis with his NEVER letting me out of his sight" child. He never listens to me...or Julian. If I say "no" he looks at me and then does whatever it is he is doing anyway. He does. He looks RIGHT at me and then does it anyway. Ha. He has nerve, I give him that much.

I love them both. I love how different they are. I love that they give me the complete package. One is easy and one is not as easy. Both melt my heart on a daily basis. Both are the most handsome boys I have ever layed eyes on. Both are going to make some ladies VERY happy one day. Both make my life complete.

Today, though, something happened that I must write down in the books. Aiden actually listened to me. Yay. I had to sweep my oh-so-gross kitchen because I could feel the dirt stick to my bare feet as I made my children breakfast this morning. Yuck. I was debating whether to put Aiden in his bouncy thing to keep him in one place. I decided not too. Chuggington was on t.v. so I knew I had a little time. As I was sweeping Aiden wanted to come to where I was because he couldn't see me from where he was. I sternly said "no" and he actually listened to me. He stopped, he looked at me, he turned right back around and went to the living room. He did this about three times and each time he listened to me. This, my friends, is progress.

I am very excited about this. He normally won't listen and I end up having to pick him up and put him where I told him to go. But not today. Today he listened.

I love him. I love his progress. I love how I didn't think he would listen and yet he did. I love Tristan and how I knew he would be the one I didn't need to worry about. I love him too. I love how they both keep me on my toes and each day show me more and more of the men they are growing up to be.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Do you want to hear something CRAZY?? I have never seen any comments left on my blogs until just now. How crazy is that? I am happy to see that I had some. That made me feel special for some reason.

I finally know how to see them. I am sooooooooooooo slow when it comes to this stuff. Seriously slow.


Sick of being Sick

I am not feeling good today. My nose is stuffy and the back of my throat is killing me due to drainage. This means that my boys will get to watch tv and basically have free reign over the house. I can't get in their faces much for fear of getting them sick. I would hate that. They already seem like they are fighting something.

I suppose this is a perfect ending to a "not even close to being perfect" week. Being sick today may just be my body's reaction to the week's stress. This week has been crazy stressful. There is so much going on that my mind can't keep up. Or my emotions.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Have you ever felt out of place? Like you just can't find where you fit in. It isn't as if you are unhappy. It isn't like people are making you feel unwelcome. It may be the place you are at or the mood a city gives. It could be the way people act naturally and it just doesn't click with you. It may be bigger and better opportunities may be elsewhere and now you feel trapped between what you know and what you don't know. You feel uncertain of what one place may offer and what it may not offer.

Do you ever feel like you are all alone? As if there is no way anyone else in this world could possibly understand what you are going through? Have you ever felt so incredibly different than everyone else? As if you are a foreigner in your own city/home/work/safe place?

So many thoughts, so many choices, so many ways to go wrong, so many ways to go right, so many everything. So many avenues to go down that you are going bonkers in your head trying to figure them all out?

A crossroads of sorts. And the things wanting to keep you somewhere are also the things driving you away. The things you love are the things that won't last. They don't really care. They don't know you for who you really are. And if they did of course they would treat you different and judge you.

Have you felt as if you had to live up to standards that you don't believe in yourself but you still try to hold on to them? Things you don't like or would ever think you would do them but now you do? And you don't really know why they are important to you because you know it doesn't mean anything.

A crossroad. You can go one way or another. What makes you choose which way?