Planning? What planning?

I am a planner.  I always have been.  I am very much a type A personality.  I am bossy, I like lists, I like order to things, I like things done MY way because that is the RIGHT way.

Until this last year.

I learned to never plan.  Well, not never but hardly ever.  The last 7 to 8 months have been the most chaotic, crazy, overwhelming, wonderful, unplanned months of my life.

If I took away ONE thing, and one thing only, from that time it is this: God has a plan for me, and it isn't the one I planned for myself.

But I took away a lot more than that.  Here are some of the things I have learned:
to fly by the seat of my pants
to not worry about "stuff" and let God show me solutions
God is control, not me
laundry will wait for me
my kids laughter is wonderful medicine to my aching heart
my house being dirty is not the end of the world
my car is and will continue to get dirtier and dirtier with two growing
    boys in the backseat
God created me, He designed me, He knows what is best for me
I know nothing other than God is dependable, reliable, and loves me
    unconditionally
I need to relax
life is always changing and I need to change with it
you can always find a positive in any situation
look at the positive instead of the negative
I am stronger than I think
I am only stronger than I think due to God giving me the strength
my children are awesome
my Honey is awesome
I knew those last two things already though!

Basically, I learned a lot.  Things did not go my way AT ALL during the last 8 months.  I had no clue what life was going to throw at us...or me.  I knew that no matter what, God knew what was best for us...and me.  I protested His plan though.  I did.  I am not going to lie and say I didn't.  I won't pretend that it was easy being told "No".  I won't pretend that life was peaches and cream during those hard months.  It was tough.  It was hard.  It took everything in me to hold on.  But I did.  I held on to the truth. I held on to God.

I still don't know what life is going to throw at us...or me.  I am entering a new chapter of motherhood now:  3 kids.  I am "home" to our baby #3 for now.  He or she will join us in September.  This is going to be fun, chaotic, crazy, overwhelming, and wonderful.  But what I know is God chose me.  He chose me to bring His child into this world.  He chose Honey, me, Tristan, and Aiden to be this baby's family.  We are excited and scared at the same time.

I am not planning a thing.  I will go with the flow.  Every time I try to plan something, it never works out.

Life is good.  God is good.  All that He creates is good.  That means my life is good.  My family is good.  This baby is good.  We are all good.

what to say

I haven't posted in awhile.  I don't really have anything to say but feel like I need to make a post.  Here goes:

Honey's job is going well.
My boys are wild and loud and crazy and wonderful.
My animals (dog, dog, and cat) are all doing great.
Work is work.
We are getting our garden ready for the season.
My inside herbs are great.
I have nothing more.

trying to find normal again

My last post was filled with raw emotion.  I had no idea what was going to happen in life.  I still don't.  Who really does?

So here is where we are at, at this very moment in time:

Julian now has a job at NASA.  He starts today.  It is a good, respectable job.  It pays okay.  It will provide insurance, which we haven't had in over six months.  It has a flexible working schedule.  That is a huge kicker for us.  That means that Julian can work four 10 hour shifts instead of five 8 hour shifts.  He will have a day to stay home with the boys while I go to work.  It means he will only have to commute (and boy is it a commute..hour and half drive EACH way) four days a week instead of five.  We had to break down and get a toll pass.  So four days works out well for that as well; only four days having to pay to drive to work and back.

Those are good things to focus on: a good paying job, insurance, possible stability.