You know who knows you really, really well? Satan. Yep, he does. He studies you. He watches over you. He will go to great lengths to turn you from God.
He knows my weaknesses. He knows when to whisper silly, hurtful, little lies into my ear to bring me down. He has studied me all my life and knows exactly how to look endearing and trustworthy only to then yank the joy right out of my heart. I've caught on to his tricks. It has taken me 30 years but he keeps it fresh to keep fooling me BUT it's the same trick deep down, just different casings. It's all the same for me....DISCONTENTMENT!!
That is his secret weapon. He gets to me with my contentment issues. I know one thing in particular that prevents me from being content. I struggle with it. I can't help but feel inadequate, left out, judged, being the one judging, jealous, envious, mad and sad. Those are some of the emotions but all emotions are felt when I engage in this new way of life. What am I talking about? Facebook.
FB is just another tool for Satan to use against me. It is great for others but not me. I used to like it but now I just find myself getting a ball of unwanted emotions in my tummy every time I go to that site.
It has taken me a long time to finally see what was going on. I kept thinking that something was wrong with me, that I had problems. I see now that it is perfectly fine that FB might be great for others but not great for me. I haven't been putting status updates (regularly) for a few weeks now and no one even noticed. If they did, they said nothing. Nothing at all. I had to bring it up to people for them to notice. It doesn't matter if I am on there or not. It doesn't effect anyone else but it does effect my life.
I would rather go back to high school days when I had to call someone and talk to them to find out what's going on in their life or just to chat because we enjoyed each others company. I do LOVE texting though. With my two boys it is much easier to type out a text and send it rather than be on the phone and have them go nuts trying to get my attention. I sound like an 80 year old woman that is refusing to accept the changing times but I see what is good for my family, myself, and my journey to be like Christ. If something is getting in the way of that then I need to remove it.
With that, so long Facebook. I leave you now but who knows what the future holds. It's been a good/bad/long run.
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I noticed. But you frequently take hiatuses so I just assumed it was another...I didn't realize FB did this to you! I realized yesterday that one of my other FB friends has been kind of MIA for a while...I dug around and found out he's in jail (a real winner obviously...) But I do think about you!
ReplyDeletegood for you for doing what is needful for you to be well! it can be super difficult to recognize the things that cause us the most frustration when we are so used to having them in our lives. i struggle with a similar "vice" and am proud of you for taking the steps needed to make you feel good about all things! <3 you.
ReplyDeleteI noticed too. However, there are lots of people who are on facebook who look at facebook but never post anything themselves. And there's lots of people who read your posts, but never comment. If I didn't have facebook right now to help pass the time, I'd be going insane. It's been a fun way to reconnect with old friends even if I don't hang out with them anymore. I love getting to look at all the pics people post too. I can relate to sometimes fb causing negative emotions. Just know that people did notice & people do care even if they don't always take the time to tell you. I love you & I'm very thankful for your friendship! So, if I can't keep up with you on fb anymore, I'll read your blog & start texting you again.
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